tv Late Night With Seth Meyers CBS February 10, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST
>> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the new hampshire primary was today and in dixville notch, the first town to complete voting, republican candidate john kasich won, beating donald trump by just one vote. honestly, i'm kinda surprised trump didn't win in a place called dixville. [ laughter and applause ] jeb bush was caught on video yesterday throwing a snowball at an nbc reporter in new hampshire. though jeb says the snowball was just meant to represent his chances of winning. [ laughter ] a new poll out shows hillary clinton with just a three point lead over bernie sanders nationally. though she's actually up by 50 points if you go by blood pressure. [ laughter and applause ] chris christie, at a campaign stop yesterday, got down on one
voter. and by "woo" i mean that's the sound he made when he knelt down. [ light laughter ] woo! woo! woo! [ light laughter ] during a campaign stop, a new hampshire bar offered marco rubio what they called a marco rubio burger. it's called the marco rubio burger, because chris christie eats it for lunch! [ laughter and applause ] following accusations that he has an overly rehearsed speaking style, marco rubio was chased to his campaign bus by a group of protesters dressed as robots and calling themselves marco roboto and the rubio talking point 3000. so one thing's for sure, unemployment is still a major problem. [ light laughter ] president obama today submitted his final budget proposal to congress before leaving office.
[ laughter ] it takes a second. it takes a second. [ applause ] red lobster is reporting that its sales are up 33% from this time last year, following their mention in beyonce's new single, "formation." "yeah, it's been really busy in here lately," said kelly and michelle. [ laughter and applause ] this year's oscars gift bag will reportedly contain a $300 credit towards personalized m&m candies. said matthew mcconaughey, "man i can't wait to get some with my initials on it. [ laughter ] finally. some m&m's with m and m." [ light laughter ] this year's oscars gift bag will also contain a $275 roll of toilet paper that comes in a gift box made from tender virgin new growth fibers. it's the toilet paper that's both by and for ass wipes.
lady and gentlemen we have a great slow for you tonight. he is the host of hbo's "last week tonight." our friend john oliver is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] so happy it to have him here. you know her from "snl." we're so happy to have her back. aidy bryant is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will be making double cheeseburgers and s'mores pie with chef april bloomfield. [ cheers and applause ] so looking forward to all of that. but before we get to it, martin shkreli, the former ceo of turing pharmaceuticals, best known for increasing the price of a drug that treats hiv-related infections by 5,000%, has come under renewed scrutiny after appearing before congress last week. but as bad as shkreli is, the price gouging he's become famous for is just standard operating procedure throughout the rest of the pharmaceutical industry. for more on this it's time for
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: shkreli appeared before the house committee on oversight and government reform last week to answer questions about his company's decision to raise the price of the drug. but instead, he spent the time doing what he does best -- looking like a real slappable prick. [ laughter ] shkreli pled the fifth in response to virtually every question, angering the members of the committee. >> do you think you've done anything wrong? >> on the advice of counsel, i invoke my fifth amendment privilege against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question. waive your fifth amendment right? >> on the advice of counsel, i invoke my fifth amendment privilege against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question. >> is it pronounced shkreli? >> yes, sir. some questions. [ laughter ] >> seth: mr. chairman, i move his dumb smug face. [ laughter ]
lot more interesting. you see, last year the rap group wu-tang clan recorded a new album. they printed one copy of the album and sold it for $2 million to the highest bidder, which was shkreli. yet, in the hearing, shkreli was so cagey he wouldn't even confirm that. >> is it wu-tang clan? is that the name of the album, name of the group? [ light laughter ] >> on the advice of counsel, i invoke my fifth amendment privilege against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question. >> seth: what was the lawyer saying to him? "i think it would be super funny if i pretend to whisper you advice, but then you just give the same answer you keep giving." [ laughter ] although, only congress would need to ask a witness, "is it wu-tang clan?" [ light laughter ] you know beforehand, someone said, "don't ask. just trust me, it's the wu-tang clan." but some old white dude was like, "it just doesn't sound right. i need confirmation." [ light laughter ] now if you think, "at least the wu-tang clan must like shkreli
album," you'd be wrong. wu-tang member, ghostface killah called shkreli a [ bleep ] head for raising the price of the drug. and then shkreli responded with a video of him and hooded goons demanding an apology from ghostface. well today, ghostface responded with a video of his own, that introduced his own, far superior goons, his mother and sister. >> you wicked boy. you wicked -- how was you raised? >> tell 'em, mom. >> do you have any morals? >> tell 'em mom. get him. >> oh, i can't believe you. >> seth: they made t-shirts. they're the best. [ laughter ] the best. but let's not get distracted from the real issue, which is shkreli's not alone. he's just doing what a lot of pharmaceutical companies already do, except he's being loud and conniving about it, while they're being secretive and conniving about it. in fact, the house oversight committee revealed an email from an unnamed pharmaceutical executive asking shkreli not to raise the price of the drug, not because it was wrong, but because, "the benefit is not worth the risk of getting
again." he's basically telling shkreli, don't draw attention to what we do. it's like when you pull a heist and tell everyone, don't spend the money right away and then shkreli goes out the next morning and spends $2 million on a wu-tang album. [ laughter ] but the problem with drug prices in america is much bigger than martin shkreli. he's a convenient deserving scapegoat. but americans pay way more for drugs across the board than other developed countries. take, for example, an acid reflux drug like nexium. according to cnn, an insurer in the united states pays on average $215 per customer. yet the same prescription in the netherlands costs about one tenth, just $23. that is crazy. no one needs acid reflux drugs more than americans. [ laughter ] it should come as a side dish with the kfc double down. [ light laughter ] a major reason for these excessive prices is that unlike other countries, the u.s. government doesn't negotiate with drug companies. prices are set completely by the market. but there's also widespread gouging, just like what shkreli did. for example, last year a company
bought the rights to a pair of life saving heart drugs. the same day their list prices rose by 525% and 212%. valeant didn't cause nearly as much outrage as shkreli did, because they don't have a smug, irritating face. they have a soothing logo. if valiant's logo was this, you'd immediately think, what are these [ bleep ] up to? [ laughter ] i don't trust them at all. if congress really wanted to help, politicians on either side of the aisle would work together to pass laws and limit the ability to price gouge. but they can't do that, because they are trying to get more important information. >> is it wu-tang clan? [ light laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with john oliver!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. back with us on drums tonight from tv on the radio, jaleel bunton is here. thank you so much for being here, jaleel. [ cheers and applause ] you can catch jaleel playing every monday night at union pool in brooklyn with reverend vince and the love choir. thank you very much for being here jaleel, and thank you so much for being here, 8g band.
[ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is the host of the emmy and peabody award-winning hbo show, "last week tonight," which returns for its third season on sunday. please welcome back to the show, our friend, john oliver. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you, my friend? >> fine, thank you, my friend. >> seth: it's so happy to -- let's get started with the thing everybody wants us to talk about. >> sure. >> seth: the audience is -- they're on the edge of their seats because today -- >> there's a reason people have cued up outside in the cold. >> seth: yeah, they want to hear this conversation between you and in, which is our soccer -- our football team played each other today. >> sure. >> seth: you are a liverpool fan. i'm a west ham fan. >> correct. >> seth: they played this afternoon. >> uh-huh. >> seth: and my guys won. >> [ bleep ] you. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] okay. do you have more to say on it, or do you feel better now? >> i do have more to say but it will basically just be a longer way to say that.
so that's the succinct way. >> and it'll be bleeped at home. [ laughter ] so i presume what i said was congratulations of some kind. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> seth, [ bleep ] you. [ laughter ] >> seth: that way -- i think the second follow up -- now, they'll figure out. with the context now, they'll be able to figure out that you said, "[ bleep ] you." >> sure, sure. yeah, yeah. >> seth: i think that -- >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. >> seth: but american football's super bowl on sunday. >> yeah. >> seth: is that something you watch? is that -- >> of course. of course. >> seth: yeah. >> it's the greatest thing to happen to a television all year because in most of the sports, you know, the sport is the key appeal. and clearly, that's not the case with the super bowl. you can sit -- you are so jaded with what you do during the super bowl. americans just expect fighter jets and lady gaga now. [ laughter ] you expect that as a baseline of a super bowl. >> seth: yeah. >> if it's not gaga, it's someone of equivalent status. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> but that was a bad game. that was not -- >> seth: it was not good football. >> that was a bad football game. >> seth: yeah. >> and yet, it doesn't matter, does it? cause beyonce saves the day. [ laughter ]
show? >> of course, i did. well, i did. as a british person, i found the appearance of coldplay slightly excruciating. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> you think, "oh, gentlemen, no, you are not what is required here. [ laughter ] oh, no they're bringing out flowers. that's the opposite of the intent of this sport." >> seth: yeah. >> "these men like to smash into each other until they can remember nothing in their 60s. your flowers and messages of love are not appropriate, mr. martin." [ laughter ] i've never seen a super bowl halftime band leave the stage and just invite other bands on to take over. >> seth: yes. >> it was spectacular. "oh, and here's bruno mars. oh, good. here's bruno, and here's beyonce. even better. beyonce. where's coldplay gone?" and i thought -- there was a moment, i thought, "oh, that's really smart. just leave." [ laughter ] yeah. and then chris martin wedges his way between them, like, dad dancing his way between them. going, "yeah? me too, right? don't believe me, just watch. i like it.
well." [ laughter ] he was -- he was in the middle. >> seth: yeah, he was. [ cheers and applause ] >> he wasn't in the middle, though. he was trying to take the power position. but when you're between beyonce and bruno mars, you just look like a guy in the back seat trying to -- [ laughter ] >> seth: oh yeah, like that. >> "me too. we're having fun as a three aren't we? [ laughter ] as an equivalent three." >> seth: i have to give chris martin credit, though, because i feel a lot of bands, if they reach the level where they get the halftime show. >> yeah. >> seth: they wouldn't want to share the stage. >> sure. >> seth: but i feel like he's a laid back enough guy that he was, "yeah, great, the more the merrier." >> or someone said, "let me save you from yourself here, chris." [ laughter ] "you can't close on yellow at the super bowl." [ laughter ] >> seth: "clocks?" can i can close with "clocks"? >> you can close with "clocks," but let bruno spice it up a little bit, to again, save you from yourself. >> seth: that's right. "yellow" is not super bowl focus. >> no one's gonna remember they played. >> seth: i -- >> it's just gonna be, "oh yeah.
she did two super bowls." >> seth: i was -- it was full sunlight as well, which is weird for a super bowl halftime show except when it's coldplay. >> yeah. >> seth: like coldplay seems like you want all the lights on. >> you may as well have the lights on. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. no one's ever like, "let's get down to coldplay, click." >> that's right. it was very much like sex with the lights on. [ laughter ] why not? let's just see. let's just have the full horror of what's unfolding there. [ laughter ] look, there are the amps they've got. that's nice. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, there's no british sport where there's spectacle. there's no fighter jets. >> no, no, no. because we just watch the sport. [ laughter ] you just watch the sport, and then, you're happy or sad about that. you don't then invite the rolling stones and say, "let's take this up a notch." [ laughter ] >> seth: right. it's either good enough on the result, or it can't be saved. >> you don't watch the world cup and say, "wow, i can't remember who played, but i remember that jay-z was there!" [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and that was fun. >> seth: you're right. well, now i feel -- i -- >> no, it's good. it's good. >> seth: okay. >> that's the thing. you don't realize, they'll have
sport event on earth is such a drop from the super bowl. >> seth: yeah. >> the super bowl's incredible. it doesn't -- it has transcended the sport. >> seth: yeah, absolutely. and i still -- the jets is the crazy -- the timing of the jets is the craziest thing. >> yeah. but again, you're all -- there's no surprise in anyone's -- [ laughter ] they go, yeah, of course, but they go across on time. they couldn't be late. it's the super bowl. [ laughter ] you don't understand how hard it is to time that out. >> seth: we're spoiled. >> and you just think, "yeah, well, they always work out." [ laughter ] >> seth: we're spoiled. we're very spoiled. >> that's right. >> seth: new hampshire primary today. >> yeah. >> seth: is this something that you pay attention to because you have a show on sunday? there'll be time for you to comment? >> well, i guess the thing i don't understand about new hampshire, no offense. >> seth: yes, my home state. >> is why the hell people care about the people of new hampshire so much. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. that's fair. >> all i've seen all week is politicians saying, "well, it's great to be here in new hampshire," which you feel is a lie. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> off the back. but then they say, "and i'll tell you what i love about the
educated, and they're involved." real slap in the face to [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> "it's good to be here in new hampshire, not like those animals in arkansas." [ laughter ] >> seth: you can't explain anything to them. >> i don't get it. but it's in your blood, right. explain to me the kind of wizard-like qualities that you have as a new hampshire voter which makes you able to know what's best for the rest of us. >> seth: you see ted cruz and marco rubio. you see them as >> sure. >> seth: it's like the matrix for us, just ones and zeros. like they just walk -- we just, like, in this zone where we see them for truth or lies. it's weird. >> that's amazing. >> seth: yeah. we just process it at a totally different level. >> just even while you're eating your omelettes in a diner, you think, "i know he's going to shake my hand, but i can make a decision on behalf of the rest of the country here." [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, absolutely. the other thing is that -- which it's so great to be in new hampshire, i lived there. my parents are there. i love my parents. >> yeah. >> seth: it's great to be in new hampshire, not now. >> right.
>> yeah, sure. >> seth: like, if my parents called and said, "we really need you to come home." i'd be like, "i'll wait. i'll come in march." [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: it's like slush. it's awful. >> yeah. and also, well it's just now, every four years, you don't want to be filling up your car and have governor kasich say, "hey, nice to meet you, friend." >> seth: yeah. >> "please, please don't let me use my matrix-like vision on you, kasich." >> seth: you now -- congratulations. your show is back. >> yeah. >> seth: season three, well done. >> season three, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> seth: you had said that you weren't going to talk about the 2016 election until 2016. >> yeah. >> seth: now that it's here, how will your show address what's going on? >> i think we'll probably look more at the process of the election than the personalities involved. so, i think that's what we'll probably do over the year rather than so much here looking at governor kasich and his traveling band of defeatist maniacs. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, this has been a
with the prime minister once a week basically has to face everybody. >> yeah. yeah, so you're probably not aware of this. there's something called "prime minister's questions" in england. and what it means is, once a week, the prime minister has to go to parliament and be shouted at for half an hour. >> seth: they have to do it. >> you just gotta do it. doesn't matter what is happening. doesn't matter if the country's at war. you stand there for half an hour and you let people heckle you like you're in a low-range comedy club. [ laughter ] like the you're at the pittsburgh yuck yuck. [ laughter ] yeah. so, you will be the most powerful person in england, and yet you must basically stand there and accept these insulting heckles from people. i think you might like it. it's -- i know there's respect for office here -- >> seth: yeah. but it's even nicer to shout at the person you're annoyed at. [ laughter ] >> seth: and then, as the prim minister, you're allowed to shout back? >> sure. yeah, you can do -- you can do the foot down. >> seth: so it's just shouting. >> you have to understand, british people are so repressed, it's best to have just half an hour in a week where we just explode at each other. [ shouting ] [ laughter ]
shame on you!" oh, i'm dreadfully sorry. please carry on." [ laughter ] that's it. we're like emotional volcanoes. we erupt on the clock for 30 minutes, and then we put that [ bleep ] back. [ laughter ] >> seth: and then just have to go about your week. >> then we just go about our week. exactly, yeah. >> seth: one of the things that happens with your show, which is so fantastic, is -- the show's fantastic, but people frame it on monday. your clips are out, and a lot of headlines will say, like, "john oliver eviscerates." >> yeah. "john oliver destroys." people are dramatic with their headlines. eviscerate and destroy? is that your game. >> no, not really, no. we -- primarily the game is entertainment rather than evisceration of any kind. it's odd, it's odd. it's very nice. like, our show gets passed around on monday and through the week. but, the packaging of it is slightly dispiriting to watch when someone is just screaming, "look watch john oliver disembowel tables!" [ laughter ]
>> "he literally takes a leg off, eats it! that table is no more! the system is crushed!" sure. or i made a joke for 15 minutes about a thing. [ laughter ] which i guess that's less appealing. >> seth: yeah, that's true. i guess they have to package it with eviscerations. >> again, that's it. the internet is basically like a boxing trainer for us. >> seth: yeah. >> just saying what we're going to do to someone just saying what we're going to do to someone. >> seth: i'm lucky i know you because i feel the people that read these evisceration headlines just think you have, like, wolverine claws, and you just walk around all day just destroying and ripping out people's guts. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i do not have wolverine claws or, indeed, muscles. [ laughter ] i also don't have standard wolverine upper body strength without the claws. >> seth: you're not even close to wolverine or a wolverine. >> i'm not a body on which you could build a wolverine. [ laughter ] >> seth: but thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> you're welcome. >> seth: congrats on season three. >> it's a pleasure. >> seth: always a pleasure. john oliver, everybody. third season of "last week tonight" premieres sunday on hbo. we'll be back with more "late night."
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one day pay, only from aflac. we brought you here today to get your honest opinion about this new car. to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. feels like a bmw. reminds me a little bit of like an audi. so, this car supports apple carplay. siri, open maps. she gets me. wow. it also has teen driver technology. it even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. i'm very curious what it is. this is the 2016 chevy malibu. and it sells for? it starts at twenty-two five. what? oh wow.
everybody. before we continue with the show i just want to talk a little bit about some of the very exciting guests we have lined up next week. and -- i'm sorry, plug calendar? wally, what is plug calendar? >> oh. yeah. seth, the "late night" crew calendar. do you mind giving us a quick shout out? >> seth: yeah. i'm sorry, what is the "late night" crew calendar? >> well, you know how the new york firefighters calendar came out a little while ago. hubba hubba. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i'm familiar with >> and now the new york taxi driver's calendar is out. >> seth: oh, they have a calendar too? >> oh, yeah. beep beep honk honk, awooga. some real hotties in there. >> seth: okay, don't ever do "this" again. [ laughter ] >> okay. so the crew here at "late night" decided to make our own calendar. the perfect gift for valentine's day and the best part it's all for charity. >> seth: well, you know what that's very nice, wally. i'll mention it. do you have one on you? >> it's your lucky day. there's a box of them under your desk. >> seth: oh, all right. here we go. wow.
very professional looking. [ laughter ] >> you gotta look inside though. i think you'll like what you see. >> seth: okay. here we go. oh, my goodness is that tom? [ laughter ] >> yes, seth? >> seth: okay. this is our stage manager, tom. you look great, buddy. >> thank you, seth. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's a great suit. >> it's mine. [ laughter ] >> seth: where'd you find a white tiger? >> oh, that's mine too. [ laughter ] >> seth: really? how come that hasn't come up before? >> it's illegal. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, that's fair. >> hey, keep going, seth. february's next. >> seth: yeah, i know how calendars work, wally. [ laughter ] oh, okay. so this is our camera guy, gene. [ cheers and applause ] that's a new look for you, gene. >> not really, seth. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> seth.
>> we are just heating up. >> seth: uh-huh. >> speaking of hot, go to july. >> seth: july. all right. whoa. okay this is gregg from the sound department. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, is he holding his sound board in the water? that can't be safe. >> oh, it wasn't. check august. >> seth: okay. oh, man. that's not good. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. well, i think that's all we have time for. >> wait. what about me, seth. >> yeah, yeah, yeah check out steve. it's real good. >> seth: oh yeah. okay. you know, i gotta be honest, steve is actually the first one that makes sense to be in a calendar like this. oh. okay. i didn't -- i don't know, steve. [ laughter ] i -- i just thought you'd be, maybe, sexier. >> you don't think i'm sexy, seth? >> seth: no. of course i think you're sexy, steve. >> okay. good. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry. wally, you said this was for charity. what charity is this even for? >> wally's kids. >> seth: and i'm sorry, what is wally's kids? >> you know i have two kids, matt and danny. you've met them before. [ laughter ] >> seth: wally. >> seth, check december. >> seth: we really have to move on, wally.
>> seth: oh, boy. oh, wally! [ cheers and applause ] >> do you like it? >> seth: i don't like it. >> i was having a great hair day, wasn't i? >> seth: you're wearing a hat. >> that's not what i mean. >> seth: oh, wally. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] here in the city, parking is hard to find. seems like everyone drives. and those who do should switch to geico because you could save hundreds on car insurance. ah, perfect. valet parking. hello! here's the keys. and, uh, go easy on my ride, mate. hm, wouldn't mind some of that beef wellington... to see how much you could save on car insurance,
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>> seth: welcome back to "late our next guest is a very funny lady who you know from her work on "saturday night live" which returns this weekend with host melissa mccarthy and musical guest kanye west. she can also be seen in the new short film "darby forever" which appears on thursday, february 18th on vimeo. welcome back to the show our very good friend, aidy bryant. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hello, gorgeous. >> hi. >> seth: how are you? >> oh, my god, i'm so good. >> seth: i'm so, so happy to have you here. >> oh, my god, what a treat. >> seth: what a treat. and a fantastic show last week with larry david. >> thank you. >> seth: that was just an excellent episode of "snl." [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. yeah, it was the best. he's so funny. >> seth: he was fun to be around. that's what everybody -- i've been asking people on the cast, said he was just a delight.
>> seth: you were fantastic in "bern your enthusiasm" just great. you got to scream at him which must've been nice. >> yes. it was like a like dream cause it was like a fantasy role play for "curb your enthusiasm" for me. >> seth: yeah. you guys we're all great in it. >> yeah, it was great. >> seth: and now melissa mccarthy is back which is exciting. >> yeah, which is so fun. this is her third time hosting since i've been here and it's like a family member returns. >> seth: oh, that's so lovely. >> yes. >> seth: now, i want to talk about your connection to somebody else via "snl," which is i remember when you auditioned one of your impressions was adele. >> yeah. >> seth: and you've since got to do her on the show. >> yes. >> seth: and adele did a show at radio city music hall that was on nbc and a lot of "snl" cast got to go. how was that being in the audience of radio city that night? >> it was a full-blown weep fest for me. >> seth: okay. you we're fully -- >> i was just sobbing constantly. and -- >> seth: did you expect that going in? >> i think i went in being like i'm on "snl" now and i've been here for four years. i'm over it. or something. and then i sat down and
she's an angel [ laughter ] and just like sobbed steadily and i was there with kate and chris and sarah who i write with and we were all just like holding each other and feeling it, baby. >> seth: oh that's great. >> yeah. >> seth: did you get a chance to meet her? >> yeah. >> seth: that's awesome. >> yeah. >> seth: and how was that? >> it was a dream. i mean she was so cool and so nice and we got to like do that adele video where we all became adele and it was like, again, fantasy role play a thing for me. >> seth: yeah, you're living the life. >> yeah. i'm always pretending to be someone. >> seth: now what are the other things, obviously with "snl" you get to do other things, and i want to talk about a bunch of but one thing that was very nice the show documentary now and you actually flew to iceland to be >> yeah. >> seth: you also filmed something in oregon for some of the other guys on the show. but i did not realize this, you have had some bad experiences being driven to and from sets. can you tell us a little bit about this? >> yes. so, both in iceland and in oregon i was in car accidents where i was being driven by i
production assistant. >> seth: sure. that's like the lowest rung job sometimes is like a kid on the set will drive you to and from something. >> totally. and in both cases like sort of like a nervous p.a. being like, "so what's 'snl' like," you know? and i'm like, "oh, it's cool. it's great." you know, and then just like staring at me and just going like -- right into like a bus. i guess i have that effect on young men. [ laughter ] but it really has been like traumatizing. but the one in oregon we smashed right into a deer. >> seth: oh, no. >> yes. >> seth: that's dangerous. >> we murdered a deer at 5:00 a.m. and then like i instantly became his very old mom who was like, "you're okay, baby. you're okay, we're okay." i'm okay." [ laughter ] and then i got out and i was like, "he's fine, he's dead but he's fine." [ laughter ] and then a man drove by and he was like, "y'all kill a deer?" and we were just like, "yeah.
and he was like, "if you ask they'll cut the antlers off for ya." [ laughter ] and we were like, "very cool. thank you, sir." >> seth: you're supposed to be like, "ask who?" >> i know, fully. it's trendy to me. >> seth: so you don't -- you didn't gets the antlers in the end? >> nope. >> seth: okay, gotcha yeah. that's fantastic. that would be really -- i think that would be a lousy reason to have about hers on your wall. >> i know. >> seth: they're like, "oh, you're a hunter?" it's like, "no, randomly hit one." >> yep. [ laughter ] "me and a child drove right into this deer and i saved these as a fun souvenir." [ laughter ] >> seth: you also -- this upcoming season of "girls" you're going to be on. again one of my -- a show i love. and you got to go to tokyo. >> yeah. >> seth: how -- have you never been before? >> no. and actually i realize i've never been anywhere because it's such a different world and i was there for three weeks which is a very long time. >> seth: yeah. >> and i felt by the end of it that i was like this japanese woman where i was just like walking around and saying like --
[ laughter ] but then i couldn't handle the cuisine because -- >> seth: oh, so you didn't go all-in on japanese. >> i'm not a big fish person. i'm not an adventurous eater so i just lived solely off chicken quesadillas which is -- [ laughter ] >> seth: where do you get chicken quesadillas in tokyo? >> oh, you'd be surprised. [ laughter ] you can find them. yeah, i just lived off chicken quesadillas, candy, and french fries. >> seth: oh, that's good. a lot candy though. a lot of weird japanese candy. >> oh, you know this. >> seth: okay. i mostly know it from your instagram. >> i know. >> seth: it was just like everyday. >> i know. >> seth: pictures of like the most colorful candies. >> i was just walking around like a true simpleton like, "oh, the brights." [ laughter ] and like -- and then being like, "i'll eat them." >> seth: now, you -- this is something that exists in tokyo that you went and checked out. >> yes. >> seth: a cat cafe. >> yes. >> seth: this is -- how many cats are at the cat cafe and what's the idea? >> okay. the idea is that you go and you're going to like have a cup
going to be walking around. and i walked in being like this is disgusting. this is like a [ bleep ] box. [ laughter ] and i left being like, i love the cat cafe. i feel serenity now. it was so weird. >> seth: so is the idea that you like hold the cats or you just watch the cats like you would -- >> they have like jungle gyms that they can climb and you just sit below them and like sit. [ laughter ] and then they just walk around. and they all seem to have like some sort of like body problem. [ laughter ] >> seth: wait, seriously? it's not even regular cats? >> well i mean not at this one. i don't know. one had like very short legs, little -- little nub legs. [ laughter ] but it was nice. >> seth: this does not seem like the way i want to drink my coffee. >> i don't know i loved it. >> seth: you loved it. >> i loved it. >> seth: i want to talk about
>> seth: this is a 20 minute short film you did, os rodriguez from "snl" directed it, correct? >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and i want to show a clip but explain real quick where this idea came from. >> oh, yes. so, when i was in chicago i used to go to the fabric store and i would get fabric for shows i was doing at second city. and so this woman who would cut the fabric for me would always be like, "what's this fabric for? and i would say, "second city for a show i'm doing." and she would get like this little hollywood like showbiz excitement and be like, "oh, really?" and so i always like loved thinking of her kind of imagining what i was doing and so that's kind of what this is. so basically darby works in a fabric store and she kind of has little daydreams. so in this clip she's met some kind of like punk rock girls and she's imagining what it would be like if she was a little rock chick. >> seth: all right. let's take a look. >> i rip [ bleep ] up. you know, i divorced my parents. you know how people do that. i don't love to hang out with my mom.
encouraged me in like everything i've done but i don't care. i like to sing. i like to party. what's up [ bleep ] we bout to party get ready you little smarty this is nasty it's gonna suck but we don't care and we don't give a [ bleep ] [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: "darby forever." >> okay. >> seth: fantastic, it's great. everybody should check it out. and it's always so lovely to see you. i cannot wait to see the show on saturday. >> love ya. >> seth: aidy bryant, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "snl." melissa mccarthy. kanye west. we'll be right back with april bloomfield. and you're going to stick around. >> yeah.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. we're here with chef april bloomfield. welcome to the show. [ cheers and applause ] her new restaurant, "salvation burger," located in the pod 51 hotel here in midtown welcome back. welcome to the show. thank
you. >> seth: not welcome back. here. congrats on the new restaurant. what are we gonna do tonight? >> okay, so have you cooked a burger before. >> seth: i have cooked a burger before. >> okay, so we're going to do a burger we're going to start selling tomorrow. >> seth: okay, great. >> so, right, we got a couple of patties. have you cooked a burger before? >> aidy: no, but i eat a ton of them. [ laughter ] >> okay. right. listen -- well, listen. throw a couple of patties in that pan. seth, you can do same thing. >> seth: okay, great. >> make sure you take off -- oh, you're a natural. [ laughter ] okay, that's awesome. >> seth: all right. great. >> seth, you're a little slower, but that's okay. >> seth: a little slower, yeah. >> you gotta do a second patty. >> aidy: ooh. >> throw that in there. >> seth: this is a nice, thin patty. >> it is, yes. >> seth: okay. >> you know why? because it's going to cook super fast. >> seth: okay, great.
caramelization. so, i'm going to give it a little season. >> seth: okay. >> so while i'm doing that, do you want to cut your bun? >> seth: yeah, please, i would love to. >> you just cut it nice and even. >> seth: okay, great. >> you can cut your bun too. >> aidy: okay. >> so, listen, i've got some lovely special secret sauce. just watch it. >> seth: okay, can you tell us what's in it, or is that a secret? >> no, it's a secret. it's a secret. it's a secret. >> seth: okay. >> we've got some cheese that we made in the restaurant. this is our little -- >> seth: homemade cheese? >> homemade cheese. >> seth: okay. >> you want a taste? >> seth: i would love a taste. >> great. do you want a taste of cheese? >> aidy: yes, i do. >> seth: that's really good cheese. >> who doesn't like cheese, you know? >> seth: oh, i love it. this is really good. >> nice and acidic. so, we're just gonna wait until we get a little color. do you want to have a little peek and -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> wanna have a little peek? >> seth: now, hey, can i ask you a question? >> yeah. >> seth: cause my wife and i are having a disagreement about burgers. >> what's that? >> seth: is it bad to press down with it on a spatula? >> yeah. yeah. >> seth: okay. well, i lost that one. >> do you know why? [ laughter ] >> you know you should never argue with your wife. >> seth: no, i won't. >> you know why? because it pushes out all that juice. >> seth: yeah but it goes -- [ sizzle ] [ laughter ] and that's a fun sound. >> it is. it is. but all the juice evaporating. >> seth: yeah. >> so, seth, you've cut your bun in half. >> seth: i have.
this secret special sauce on there? >> seth: yep. >> you did better than seth. >> aidy: thank you. >> seth: okay, great. >> good job. >> seth: okay. >> you want a bit more on there? >> seth: yeah, sure. i mean, well, i don't know. it's a secret. so, how do i know? >> it's that way. it's a secret. >> seth: okay, great. that's good. >> oaky. lovely. perfect. >> seth: okay. >> let's give some to aidy. >> aidy: yeah. >> yeah, great. so, let's put cheese on there. >> seth: i love this speed that these are cooking. >> yeah, they're good, right? who wants to slave over a hot stove? >> seth: yeah. >> burgers are fast and fun. want to slap a bit of cheese on there? >> seth: you bet. >> aidy, what about you. >> seth: oh, can i start eating pickles? >> aidy: oh, yeah. i want cheese. >> yeah. help yourself. >> seth: okay, good. >> just a little chili and some nice and easy. you've done this before, haven't you. >> seth: what's this here? >> that is a little beef fat, >> seth: beef fat? what do you use that for? >> you can give it a little toast of our little bun, here. >> seth: oh! >> just give it a little spread. >> aidy: ooh, a beef fat bun. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] we're doing it. [ laughter ] >> this is, like, beef on beef. you know, if you're not busy you >> aidy: yes. oh, my goodness! >> you want a beer? >> seth: i would love a beer.
>> seth: i'm so excited, i forget about that. >> how do you like your burger? do you like it well-done? medium? >> seth: i like it medium, medium-well. >> okay, great. so, we'll let this go a little longer. >> seth: okay, great. >> you see how you got your cheese on there, aidy, seth? >> yeah. >> seth: uh-huh. >> that's gonna melt it. >> seth: that's gonna melt? i knew that. >> yeah. >> aidy: oh, my god. oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my goodness! aidy! now, let me ask you a question. at your new restaurant, how many -- [ laughter ] >> just drink it. it's fine. whoo! whoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: can i just have a full growler? >> yeah. >> seth: i think i'm gonna go straight from the growler. >> aidy a little bad boy. >> seth: how many burgers will be going at once? like when you have a full house, how many -- how many burgers can fit on your grill? >> you know, probably, like 15. one straw. >> seth: that's good beer. who makes your beer? >> aidy: i'm gonna copy you. >> do you wanna to take your burger? >> aidy: yes. >> here, look. [ laughter and applause ] >> you guys -- [ cheers ] >> nice. >> seth: all right.
>> seth: can pickle up? i'm gonna pickle it up. >> do you want to eat it? >> aidy: yeah, i want to eat mine. >> yeah, go on. okay. it might be hot, okay? so just be careful. yeah, pickle it up. you want some pickles, aidy? >> aidy: mm-hmm. >> seth: aidy and i are very happy about this. we were talking back stage. >> aidy: i said i hope i get to take a big nasty bite on camera. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, wait. aidy, like, side by side big and nasty. >> it might be juicy, okay? >> seth: yeah. >> be careful. >> aidy: how juicy is it gonna get? [ cheers and applause ] >> good? >> aidy: oh, it's so good! >> aidy: oh, baby. >> seth: it's fantastic. >> with burgers, you got to have >> seth: yeah. >> do you want to do the honors and just glaze this little small >> seth: yeah. oh, right. so we're going to do this right. before? >> seth: oh! >> aidy: holy hell! >> seth: yeah, i've used one. all right, so what am i doing? just toasting? >> so you just kind of glaze it over there. >> seth: uh-huh. great. >> you can toast it as far as you want. like if you like, like bitter, you know, s'mores then -- >> aidy: ooh.
>> seth: if i turn this on you, would you admit i was right about the spatula and burger? [ laughter ] >> yeah. do you want a job? >> seth: i would -- well, maybe you would. >> aidy: a man truly afraid. ooh. [ laughter ] >> you got it? we got a little banana pie. >> seth: fantastic. what's in this pie? >> this is a s'mores pie. >> seth: a s'mores pie? >> s'mores peanut butter pie. >> aidy: oh, baby, baby! >> and who doesn't like peanut butter and chocolate and marshmallows. >> aidy: so dang good. >> seth: this has all been really, really good. >> thank you. >> aidy: this is so good. >> so glad you're drinking out of the growlers. here seth, have your growler back. >> seth: yeah. where'd mine go? i was so bummed that it was not there. [ laughter ] thank you so much. >> thank you. >> seth: congratulations on the new restaurant. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> seth: midtown needs some places to go. >> yeah. yeah. >> seth: april bloomfield, everybody. salvation burger opens tomorrow. we will be right back.